GIRL

 

 

I dreamed you wouldn’t let me sleep in your bed
In a phone call they told me the poem was over
I was choking and there was no one to wave to
Beneath me was the sea
A stranger came out of the the water
You stopped the car and took a picture
He was touching me and you pushed us
The valley was golden and you made it hush
Something I never thought you’d do
The houses were similar and we never lived there
People were nice and you disliked them for their love
Homer’s first word was rage, and you?
They drilled screws into my hips
Then I became an adult
The radio said winter was crossing the mountain
You had red hair and wanted us to lay
Your clothes were soft but I didn’t want to
The sheriff said you were born with a storm in your heart
Did you pour hot lava in the game console?
A mare gave birth across the meadow
I skipped a star
The sorrow of being locked out of divination
I drew you on the back of a notebook
The sea was dark and I wouldn’t go in
You sent pictures of long grass, the wind
1992 1993 1994 1995
In a phone call they told me you didn’t stop the car
Young rites make sweet the new order of the ages
Take a moment
You have some beautiful friends
There’s a beach shore somewhere inside you
My head on your chest I hear it crashing
My back slightly arched I showed my face to the sun
The crystal in the window fractured light over the blankets
I wanted a mountain in the city that only I knew about
Try to imagine a future touching skin
Dragging a claw through a cloud
We broke into the neighbors pool and populated it
An enormous wave soaked the lawn
Someone called your name back there
Life opened to you like a marble palace
You brought new lightbulbs, pagaentry
and couture, a lion’s roar
You came as a myth-weaver
The wind took the last leaves
Once I had a month with no dreams
It was like living in an aquarium with a blanket over it
Why kiss me if I won’t get better?
Summer dusk, one week later and you no longer love me
Won’t you forgive me the way I’ve already forgiven myself?
To track the snowfall over the mountain on horseback
Something you got for being attentive
You talked about the light from your childhood
You talked about being a girl
But I thought about something else
Magic isn’t real...magic isn’t real...magic isn’t real...
But I need more
Just to look through a telescope
To stand naked in a field
My whole life has been spent on dramatic displays of expression
I ran through the grass with a kite in my hand
When I lifted, it dragged
I will not will my anxiety into anticipation
You pulled the car over and began to cry
I dreamed I could show you my dreams like a movie
I am simply wading into the surf
If the sea breaks into sequins then I still believe
If I am no longer curious then I must let myself go

BEN FAMA